6 Most Bizarre Plastic Surgery of All Time

Image:Ambro/freedigitalphotos.net

Better late than never, Barka de Salah to all our Muslim friends. Asalamu’alaikun!

That said, let’s jump right into our ship.

I spent time relaxing with a couple of friends on the evening of the second day of Eid-el-kabir celebration. The minutiae of our everyday life in Nigeria formed the main topic of our discussion until I did something. Something really unnecessary but I was bored with all the this-governor-did-that and that-president-is-supposed-to-do-this discussion. So, don’t blame me.

I teased one of the ladies in our mist that she would look more sexy and angelic with a face-lift. O mhen I had turned up a tide so what I did was to sit back and enjoyed the tsunami. It started with her saying some really odd things about cosmetic surgeons and the odd surgical procedures they perform. This later dived into an argument and believe me, I learned a lot from everyone that day (the fun in constructive arguments is unequaled jare but talking sef is not my past time at all. I can easily get bored with too much talk…mz cookie, I will cook you some more…

The world is speedily evolving (rolls up my sleeves) and each time I consider some of the changes the world have seen so far, I start to wonder what the future holds in store for us but I would let the future worry about itself but seriously are you seeing the same thing I am?

Then it was atomic bomb but now we are talking about cobalt and biological bombs which could destroy all life on earth within a twinkling. Then it was bloomers but now it is ‘catapult’, then it was bell-bottom jeans but now it is skinny (pencil) jeans. Please, Nandipha, Miss Sole, Diana, Tosyn, Sophia La Style and Yvonne I stand corrected. (These ladies are actually authorities with everything and anything fashion). So, that said I am sure you will agree with me that new stuffs are being introduced into our world almost every day.

Plastic surgery has been in the news longer than I can imagine and we are very familiar with some of them like nose jobs (rhinoplasty), tummy tuck (abdominoplasty), liposuction, face-lifts, breast and butt augmentation but the recent introduction of some I will share with you in a bit gives me serious indigestion.

I bet you your eyes will light up the way it never had and you know what? It beats me why anybody would pay such price for beauty or attention in the first place but you know I am no judge and if there’s anything I have learned since I stuck my toes into the social media waters it is to be open minded on some topical issues.

      Now take it from me!

1. Tongue bifurcation- If you have seen the tongue of a snake or some lizards before you will understand what this is all about better. For reasons alien to me, some persons pay oral surgeons to have their tongues split into two equal parts with a laser. After some days of undergoing this procedure they would gain total control of the split tongue and can use them separately. Which means these persons can decide to have one pointing skyward and the other pointing downward. But do you know the interesting part?  Anytime a person decides that he’s done carrying a bifurcated tongue, he could still ask the oral surgeon for a reversal and the tongue will take shape again ASAP. The reason is because the tongue has many blood vessels and thus more of the nutrients, repair factors and oxygen will be carried quickly to the damaged site and it will return to what it used to be.

   

   picture: sangbleu.com

2. Horn Implants- yeah, this is happening and some persons have really undergone this procedure. In this procedure, cosmetic surgeons imbed any horn of ones choice and size in the skull. Two persons that have undergone this procedure are Maria Jose Cristerna and Diablo Delenfer. I am waiting for when they would have tail implant to make the name I have chosen for them official.

   

   picture: Facebook/Maria Cristerna

3. Third breast implant- One person who claims to have undergone this procedure is Jasmine Tridevil (three devil). According to her, the procedure which cost her $20, 000, involved constructing a breast made from a silicone implant and skin tissue that was cut from her abdomen in the middle of her chest. The story get k-leg but with this I am sure some people would want to give it a try.
   

   

   facebook: Jasmine Tridevil

4. Nose on forehead- You may not believe this but yeah, surgeons could grow noses on foreheads but this time it is for a good reason. If someone was involved in a ghastly accident which caused a serious damage to the nose, the multiple layers of the nose (the outer skin, the cartilage, and the soft lining) could still be reconstructed on the forehead or on the arm and then transplanted back to where it ought to be. But for the period this would last, you would be carrying a nose on your forehead. 

   

   photo: getty images

5. Alteration of the palm line- in palmistry, it is believed that one’s future can be foretold by just reading the lines of his palms.  This means that if misfortune is waiting to befall on someone in the future, palmist could tell this by just reading his palms. A man who a palmist has told his future is clouded with misfortune could decide to arrange and rearrange his destiny by paying a cosmetic surgeon to have the lines of his palms changed. This to him means that his destiny has changed. After all “…the violent should take it by force” abi?
6. Dimple surgery (dimpleplasty) - depending on how you want it, it would only take a cosmetic surgeon 45 minutes to give you either a dimple on one side of your cheek or on both sides. This was not in vogue until people began believing that it accentuates ones beauty or brings good luck when in fact it is a genetically inherited defect in the cheek muscle. So, when next somebody displays his dimples, please ask him where they come from.

I really won’t be surprised if I turn on my TV right now and hear that cosmetic surgeons have successfully implanted a second head on any man.

• Why do you think people undergo cosmetic surgery?
• Do you think they are necessary?
• Which of the surgical procedures, common and bizarre, would you rather subscribe to?

 I will be super excited, as always, to hear from you.